To Look or Not to Look – Should You Do a First Look Before the Ceremony?

One of the biggest decisions couples face when planning their wedding timeline is whether or not to see each other before the ceremony. You’ve probably heard the term first look—a private (or semi-private) moment where the couple sees each other for the first time before walking down the aisle. Some people swear by it. Others couldn’t imagine doing it any other way than the traditional aisle reveal.

Here’s the truth: There’s no right answer. But there is a right answer for you.

This guide will help you make that decision from a place of clarity, not pressure.

What Is a First Look?

A first look is typically a quiet moment arranged before the ceremony where you and your partner see each other fully dressed. It can be just the two of you, or include family or wedding party if you prefer. It’s often followed by couple portraits and group photos, which helps ease the timeline later in the day.

But more than that—it’s a moment to connect. To take a breath. To be together before everything else begins.

The Case for Doing a First Look

Couples who choose to do a first look often say it was one of their favorite parts of the day. Why?

  • Emotional Connection – The pressure is off. You can cry, laugh, hug, hold each other without 150 people watching. It’s yours.
  • Timeline Flexibility – Doing a first look allows us to do most portraits before the ceremony. That means you can go straight to cocktail hour or spend more time with guests.
  • Less Stress, More Ease – Nerves tend to settle after seeing each other. You don’t have to hold all your feelings in until the ceremony.
  • Weather & Light Considerations – If sunset is early (or if it might rain later), a first look gives us more flexibility to get portraits done when the light is best.

Curious how this fits into the bigger picture? Read our guide on Scheduling Your Day

The Case for Waiting Until the Aisle

That moment when the music swells and one of you walks down the aisle—it’s iconic for a reason. If you’ve always imagined that reveal happening in front of your guests, honoring that is beautiful.

Couples who wait for the ceremony often say:

  • The Tradition Feels Meaningful – There’s power in honoring something so classic. If this moment feels sacred, hold space for it.
  • Shared Emotion with Guests – When everyone witnesses the reveal, the collective reaction can feel deeply moving.
  • More Build-Up, More Impact – Waiting creates anticipation. If you like the idea of seeing your person for the first time in that setting, that’s real.

If you go this route, just know it will impact your timeline. Most portraits (family, wedding party, couple) will need to happen after the ceremony, which can extend cocktail hour or require a longer transition time.

Need help structuring that? See our guide to Shooting Beforehand

Timeline Comparisons

Let’s look at how a first look changes your timeline:

With a First Look:

  • 12:00pm – Getting ready photos
  • 1:30pm – First look & couple portraits
  • 2:30pm – Wedding party + family photos
  • 3:30pm – Quiet time / touch-ups
  • 4:00pm – Ceremony
  • 4:30pm – Cocktail hour (you join!)
  • 5:30pm – Reception begins

Without a First Look:

  • 12:00pm – Getting ready photos
  • 3:30pm – Ceremony
  • 4:00pm – Family + wedding party photos
  • 4:45pm – Couple portraits
  • 5:30pm – Reception begins

In short: with a first look, you buy yourself more breathing room.

Emotional Considerations

Think about what you need emotionally.

Are you someone who might feel overwhelmed walking into the ceremony without having seen your person? Or are you energized by anticipation?

Would sharing a quiet moment beforehand help ground you? Or would it feel like a spoiler?

This isn’t just about logistics. It’s about feeling safe, seen, and emotionally connected on your wedding day. The more you plan for what you need (not what’s expected), the more present and grounded you’ll feel.

Read our Getting Ready guide to build calm into your morning too.

Alternatives and Hybrid Options

You don’t have to go all or nothing. Here are a few in-between options we’ve seen couples love:

  • First Touch – Stand back-to-back or hold hands around a corner. You can exchange letters, say a prayer, or simply breathe together.
  • First Look with a Parent – A sweet and powerful way to include your mom or dad in an emotional moment.
  • Private Vow Reading – Share your vows in private during a first look, then do a shorter version during the ceremony.
  • First Look, No Photos – You don’t have to have the camera present (though we love capturing it). Make it yours.

See how portraits fit into this? Check out our Let’s Get Intimate guide

How We Approach First Looks (and Aisle Reveals)

Whether you do a first look or wait until the aisle, our job is the same: to hold space for you, and capture what’s real.

We don’t rush. We don’t over-direct. We help you find the light, give you space to breathe, and document the emotion as it unfolds.

If you choose a first look, we’ll help you set the scene. We’ll help you breathe. We’ll step back when it’s time to just be together.

If you wait for the ceremony, we’ll be ready. We’ll capture the way your partner’s face changes. The way your shoulders drop. The collective intake of breath.

TL;DR – Quick Pros and Cons

First Look Pros:

  • More time for portraits earlier in the day
  • Less stress about the timeline
  • Shared private moment before the ceremony
  • Option to attend more of cocktail hour

First Look Cons:

  • Breaks tradition
  • Less anticipation at the aisle

Waiting for the Aisle Pros:

  • Classic reveal moment
  • Powerful emotion shared with guests

Waiting Cons:

  • Tighter post-ceremony timeline
  • Less alone time together

Final Word: Choose What Grounds You

This isn’t about checking a box or impressing guests. It’s about starting your wedding day in a way that feels grounding, connected, and aligned with who you are as a couple.

Whatever you choose, we’ll support it. We’ll adapt the timeline, build in margin, and photograph it with care.

You can’t get this wrong. All you need is a plan that makes room for your presence.

Want more help shaping your day?

← Back to All Wedding Planning Guides

A bride and groom standing on a balcony overlooking a snowy landscape.
A bride and groom looking at each other through a window.
A bride and groom looking at each other in the fall.
A bride and groom sitting on a couch in an old building.

 

First Look Schedule

Getting Ready
Dress on
First look
Couples Portraits
Family Photos
Wedding Party Pics
Details
Ceremony
Final Family Photos
Cocktail Hour or alternate location
Dinner
Golden Hour Portraits
Dance

No First Look Schedule

Getting Ready
Dress on
Bride with Girls
Groom with Guys
Details
Ceremony
Family Photos
Wedding Party Pics
Couples Portraits
Cocktail Hour
Dinner
Golden Hour Portraits
Dance
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