A bride and groom hugging in front of a staircase.

A complete guide to choosing the moment that feels right for you.

One of the biggest questions couples ask when planning their wedding day is simple:
Should we do a first look… or wait until the aisle?

There’s no right or wrong answer — only what aligns with your personality, your timeline, and the emotional tone you want for your day. This guide will walk you through both options, the pros and cons of each, and how choosing one or the other can shape the flow of your wedding.

My goal is to help you land on the moment that feels the most like you — not what tradition says, and not what trends say, but what supports the day you want to experience.

What Is a First Look?

A first look is a private moment where you see each other before the ceremony — usually in a beautiful, quiet spot. It’s intentional, emotional, and gives you a chance to ground yourselves together before the day unfolds.

You can laugh, cry, breathe, hug, reconnect… all without a hundred eyes watching.

A bride and groom standing in front of a red barn.

What Is an Aisle Reveal?

An aisle reveal is the more traditional approach — the first time you see each other is when one of you walks down the aisle. It’s dramatic, sacred, and full of anticipation.

This moment is powerful for couples who value tradition, symbolism, or the emotional weight of the ceremony.

The Real Question: What Do You Want the Moment to Feel Like?

Instead of thinking, What should we do?, try asking:

  • Do we want a quiet moment alone?
  • Do we love the idea of tradition?
  • Do we want more time with guests?
  • Do we want the day to feel calm or high-energy?
  • Does one of us get overstimulated easily?
  • Are nerves part of the experience we want… or not?
A bride and groom sharing a kiss in front of a window.

Your answer usually leads you toward the right choice.

The Benefits of Doing a First Look

1. You get a moment that’s actually private

A first look gives you space to react however you naturally would — tears, laughter, hugs, full emotion — without trying to hold anything back.

It’s one of the few times during the day where you can be completely yourselves.

2. Your timeline becomes easier

A first look unlocks smoother flow:

  • More photos done before the ceremony
  • More time for wedding party and family portraits
  • More room for travel if your locations are separate
  • More buffer time for anything unexpected

It’s the most efficient way to structure your day.

3. Cocktail hour becomes actual cocktail hour

If the bulk of portraits are done beforehand, you can:

  • mingle with guests
  • enjoy the food
  • be part of your own celebration

This is huge for couples who care about connection.

4. It helps with nerves

Seeing each other early calms the day down. If one of you tends to get overwhelmed by attention, a first look can ease the emotional intensity of the ceremony.

5. Gorgeous, relaxed portraits

Lighting earlier in the day is often beautiful, and you’ll have more time — which means more natural, connected photos.

A bride and groom standing on the stairs of a mansion.

The Benefits of an Aisle Reveal

1. The emotional build-up is powerful

Nothing replaces the weight of that moment: music starting, guests rising, the first sight down the aisle. The anticipation is electric.

If you’ve always dreamed of this, honor that.

2. It preserves tradition

Some couples love the symbolism and ritual of seeing each other for the first time at the ceremony. It carries cultural, spiritual, or family meaning.

3. It keeps the excitement high

Your emotions pour directly into the ceremony itself, creating a heightened energy for you and your guests.

4. Perfect for short timelines

If your wedding day is intentionally simple or short, skipping a first look can make the schedule tighter and more focused.

5. Beautiful post-ceremony portraits

The energy after the ceremony is raw and joyful — photos during this time have a completely different feel.

Practical Considerations That Might Help You Decide

Lighting

Outdoor ceremony? Think about:

  • season
  • sunset time
  • whether portraits need to happen before or after

Sometimes the sunset decides for you.

Travel & Logistics

Getting ready in different locations?
Ceremony at one venue, reception at another?
Big families?
Large wedding parties?

A first look often makes the day smoother logistically.

Emotional Needs

Ask yourselves:

  • Do you want calm or anticipation?
  • Do you want privacy or audience energy?
  • Does one of you love tradition more?

Your emotional wiring matters.

Cultural & Family Dynamics

If family traditions, cultural expectations, or symbolic elements matter, let them shape the moment in a way that feels true — not pressured.

A bride and groom sitting on a couch in an old building.

Side-By-Side Comparison

First LookAisle Reveal
VibeCalm, intimate, groundingDramatic, emotional, cinematic
PrivacyFully privateIn front of everyone
Timeline FlowSmoothest + most efficientTighter schedule
Portrait TimingMostly before ceremonyMostly after
Cocktail HourYou get to enjoy itYou may miss it
Emotion StyleSoften nervesBig anticipation
LightingFlexibleMust work with ceremony light

Sample Timelines to Visualize the Flow

If You Choose a First Look

1:00pm — First look
1:30pm — Couple’s portraits
2:00pm — Wedding party
2:30pm — Family
4:00pm — Ceremony
4:30pm — Cocktail hour (you get to enjoy it)
6:00pm — Reception + toasts
8:00pm — Golden hour portraits

Smooth, connected, low-stress.

If You Choose an Aisle Reveal

3:30pm — Guests arrive
4:00pm — Ceremony
4:30pm — Family portraits
5:00pm — Wedding party portraits
5:30pm — Couple’s portraits
6:00pm — Reception

Fast-paced, high energy, emotional.

Questions to Ask Each Other

These make the decision so much easier:

  • What moment feels most “us”?
  • Do we want time with guests or time alone?
  • Do we want a day that’s calm or electric?
  • Are we comfortable being emotional in front of everyone?
  • Does tradition matter?
  • How much buffer time do we want during the day?

Your values become the roadmap.

Choosing From a Place of Intention

There’s no correct answer — and your choice won’t make or break the day. What matters is choosing the moment that supports who you are as individuals and as a couple.

A first look gives you privacy and ease.
An aisle reveal gives you anticipation and energy.
Both are beautiful.
Both are emotional.
Both tell the story of your love in different ways.

Whatever you choose, I’ll help you shape your timeline so it feels natural, grounded, and fully yours.

More Guides to Support Your Day

Final Wedding Checklist

Scheduling Your Wedding Day

Getting Ready

Formal Shot List

Let’s Get Intimate

← Back to All Wedding Planning Guides

A man and woman walk on a wooden path through a field with tall pine trees and misty mountains in the background.
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A bride and groom share a first dance in the center of a dimly lit, elegantly decorated reception hall with round tables and chandeliers.
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A bride and groom stand side by side outdoors on partially snowy ground, with the bride holding a colorful bouquet. The photo is cropped at their shoulders.
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A bride and groom stand on rocky terrain overlooking a lake, with mountains and snow-capped peaks in the background.
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A couple in formal attire kisses under a wooden structure at night, with snow falling and illuminated in the background, creating a dramatic effect.
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A silhouetted man skips a stone across a calm lake at sunset while a silhouetted woman stands watching in the foreground.
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A bride and groom share a kiss on the dance floor at their wedding reception, surrounded by seated guests in a banquet hall.
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A bride and groom laughing joyfully during an outdoor wedding ceremony, with guests clapping and mountains in the background under a cloudy sky.
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Bride in white dress and veil leans on groom in suit during outdoor wedding ceremony, with guests seated in the background.
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A bride and groom stand facing each other outdoors at night, surrounded by guests holding sparklers, with smoke and lights creating a festive atmosphere.
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A bride and groom walk through a crowd of guests holding sparklers at night, with smoke and lights creating a festive atmosphere.
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A bride and groom in formal attire stand holding hands by a large, calm lake under a cloudy, dramatic sky, facing away from the camera.
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A bride and groom stand facing each other outdoors, holding a bouquet, with autumn trees and cloudy skies in the background.
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A bride and groom stand together indoors at a bar with brick walls decorated with various brewery signs and vintage decor.
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A couple stands facing each other at dusk by a river and waterfall, silhouetted against the fading light.
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A bride and groom walk down a rainy alley at night, surrounded by people blowing bubbles and taking photos; their shadows are cast on the brick walls.
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A couple stands on rocky terrain at a mountain summit, with the woman in a red dress and the man in formal attire, sharing a kiss under a cloudy sky.
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Two people are in a dimly lit bedroom; one is sitting on the bed while the other stands behind, appearing to do their hair or makeup. The room has brick walls and framed pictures.
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A bride in a white dress feeds a groom in a vest and tie outside a food truck labeled "Cheese Curds" at night.
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A bride and groom hold hands and smile at each other outdoors, with rocky hills and green trees in the background.
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A bride and groom dance together in a warmly lit barn while guests watch and smile in the background.
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A bride in a white wedding dress sits indoors reading a note, while a small dog looks up at her on a wooden floor.
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A bride in a strapless dress wipes her eye while holding paper, surrounded by guests at an outdoor wedding ceremony.
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A bride stands on a wooden bridge in the background, while a groom in a blue suit stands in the foreground, slightly out of focus. Trees surround the bridge.
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A bride and groom stand holding hands in front of a large window set in a brick wall, looking at each other.
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A bride in a white dress and a groom in a military uniform sit closely together on a wooden swing outdoors, touching foreheads.
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A man in a vest and tie and a woman in a lace dress lie side by side, holding hands, partially submerged in clear water with rocks visible below.
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A bride and groom share a kiss indoors at their wedding ceremony, with guests seated in the background watching.
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A couple stands together on a sandy beach at night, illuminated from behind, with rain or mist falling around them and palm trees in the background.
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A couple in wedding attire embrace on a grassy hill at sunset, with large orange clouds and trees in the background.
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Two men in tuxedos dance together at an outdoor wedding reception under a tent, with seated guests watching in the background.
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A man and a woman in formal attire hold coconuts in front of their faces while standing outdoors among palm trees.
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A bride and groom walk together on a snowy path through a field at sunset, with hills in the background.
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A bride in a lace wedding dress and an older man in a suit wipe away tears while standing outdoors near stairs.
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A bride and groom stand holding hands outdoors in front of green trees, looking at each other.
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A bride and groom stand together under a large tree in an open grassy field at sunset.
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A bride and groom stand outdoors under green and yellow autumn trees, facing each other and smiling, with the bride holding a bouquet.
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A couple in formal attire sits waist-deep in a clear rocky river, facing each other closely and touching foreheads with hands on each other's faces.
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A couple in formal wedding attire holds hands and walks beside a lake at sunset, with trees and clouds in the background.
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A couple dressed in wedding attire stands together, the groom in a blue suit and the bride in a lace dress holding a bouquet of flowers, looking at each other and smiling.
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A woman in a lace off-shoulder wedding dress and veil sits, smiling, with her hair styled in loose curls and wearing a necklace.
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Two men in dress shirts and suspenders stand indoors; one is smiling with hands over his mouth while the other looks down, holding a bag.
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A person in formal attire is partially visible through a doorway, while another person in a white garment stands in the foreground holding the door handle.
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A bride in a lace wedding dress leans against a man in a navy suit, looking directly at the camera, with greenery in the blurred background.
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A bride and groom stand facing each other at opposite sides of a narrow hallway, with a large window behind them letting in natural light.
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A bride in a white dress holds a bouquet while standing next to a groom in a tuxedo, outdoors with green grass and trees in the background.
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A man and woman in formal clothing float on their backs in a small pool of water surrounded by large rocks and a forested area.
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A couple in wedding attire embraces outdoors at sunset, with a dramatic cloudy sky and distant hills in the background.
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A bride and groom stand outside facing each other; the bride is smiling and holding a piece of paper, with outdoor scenery in the background.
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A bride and groom stand close together, smiling and touching noses, with a wedding veil draped around them outdoors.
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A bride in a white hooded shawl stands in the foreground, with a groom in a suit behind her, both on a snowy overlook with a metal railing.
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A couple shares a dramatic dip and kiss on the dance floor during a formal event, with guests seated and watching in the background.
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Overhead view of a couple embracing on a wooden floor next to a decorated table with chairs, surrounded by scattered plates, cups, and floral arrangements.
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A bride and groom embrace near a railing at sunset by a river, with a bridge and bare trees in the background.
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A groom lifts and spins his bride on the dance floor as guests watch at a wedding reception in a decorated venue.
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Two men in white dress shirts and suspenders stand indoors; one smiles with hands covering his mouth while the other looks down, holding a garment bag.
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Two women in floral robes sit in a softly lit room; one applies makeup to the other, who is seated near a window, with their reflection visible on a shiny surface below.
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A woman in a lace wedding dress walks down a hallway, seen from behind in black and white.
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A bride in a strapless dress stands facing a patterned wall while a man in a vest and glasses stands facing her. The image is in black and white.
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A bride in a white lace gown walks hand-in-hand with a groom in a formal military uniform on a dirt road at sunset.
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A bride and groom stand facing each other by a lake at sunset, silhouetted against a partly cloudy sky.
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A woman in a white dress and floral headpiece stands between partially open glass doors in a softly lit room.
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A couple stands close together in silhouette, facing each other outdoors with mountains and a setting sun in the background.
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A woman in a wedding dress stands in a dimly lit room with exposed brick walls and hanging light bulbs.
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A couple stands close together under a tree at night, silhouetted against a bright light in the background.
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A woman pins a boutonniere onto an older man's lapel outdoors, while another man in sunglasses smiles nearby.
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A bride and groom stand holding hands, facing a group of people outdoors under a partly cloudy sky.
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A bride and groom kiss while dancing together at their wedding reception in a warmly lit venue with guests in the background.
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A bride and groom share a kiss outdoors at sunset, both dressed in formal wedding attire.
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A bride in a white dress sits by a brick wall in dim lighting, illuminated by a soft spotlight with hanging light bulbs visible above.
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A bride and groom kiss on the dance floor at their wedding reception, with sunlight shining behind them and guests seated in the background.
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A bride in a wedding dress and a man in formal attire walk toward a large barn-like building at sunset.
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Two men in tuxedos embrace outdoors; one man in a white jacket hugs the other from behind. Green foliage and a wooden fence are in the background.
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A woman in a wedding dress looks out from behind a glass door while a man stands on a wooden terrace outside, facing away.
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A silhouetted couple stands close together outdoors at dusk, surrounded by dark trees and illuminated by fading light.
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A couple in formal attire walks hand-in-hand outdoors at sunset, with a barn and trees in the background. The scene is in black and white.
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A bride and groom stand closely together on a grassy field with a white sky background, silhouetted against the horizon.
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A bride in a white dress approaches a groom in a suit from behind on an outdoor balcony, with a snowy landscape in the background.
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A man in a suit and a woman in a white dress with a pearl necklace stand close together in dim lighting, facing each other.
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A bride in a white gown is seen through a glass door, with her reflection also visible, and a large planter with red flowers outside.
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A person in a lace dress is partially illuminated against a dark background, holding the bottom of the dress with one hand.
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A man and woman stand facing each other on a road at night, illuminated by bright backlighting that creates a dramatic silhouette effect.
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